Zerorez Monster Life Hacks
Personally, one of our favorite months in Phoenix- it's the greatest time of year for weather… and it means HALLOWEEN! And with Halloween comes a multitude of fundamentals- Trick-or-Treating, Costumes, Halloween parties, CANDY, getting the pee scared out of you (BOO!), family time, scary stories, and so much more!
There's nothing like the next 3 months of fall and the large holidays that follow. Between Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, we've all got out hands full through to the end of the year. And Zerorez Phoenix is here to ensure you the best holiday experience possible!
Therefore, we wanted to provide you with some fun Halloween tips to give you a bit of a chuckle before this upcoming holiday!
Witch Life Hacks
If you are planning to get through this holiday with no bumps under your broomstick, Zerorez® is here to provide the creepiest of Halloween tips for your sorcery!
Spend less time cleaning this Halloween and more time creating potions and casting spells upon broom-back!
In the midst of creating your lethal potions, take caution when throwing in that extra toads tongue and drops of ghoul's blood into the cauldron. That poisonous brew may splash out onto your tile and burn through your robes!
All of those magical acids in your potion may very well scorch your tile and grout! Quick- you must summon Zerorez® before the clock hits midnight, or else your tile and grout will completely disintegrate!
Spooky Pet Messes
Did your black cat miss the toe-and-finger box? And what's that your pet dragon just dragged in from the graveyard? Oh my goblins! 'Tis a witch's carpet nightmare indeed…
No need to get your cobwebs in a knot- The Knights of Zerorez® have arrived via horseback to remove the evilest of stains and odors!
Little Known Facts About Vampires
You may need some frightening cleaning tips this Halloween, as your spook-tacular Halloween parties begin at sundown.
Did you know that 73% of Vampires get their carpet cleaned after their Halloween parties.. on account of all the blood? You vampires really like to party…
Common Coffin courtesy
As a fundamental spine-chilling tip, you should have your coffins cleaned every 12-18 months. I mean, you sleep in it for 12 hours day. Not to mention upholstery, unlike bed sheets, cannot simply "be changed"… even the living dead, shed skin cells…
Pitchforks, Wooden Stakes, and Garlic
One of the many thrilling perks of being a Vampire is the constant threat of death from those silly humans right?
Pitchforks, wooden stakes, and garlic.. oh my!
Allow Zerorez® to take the yellow brick road to your dungeon to destroy those garlicky odors… After all, 4 out of 5 Vampires prefer our Zr Water® over the traditional perpetual death by garlic.
The Curse Of The Mummy
Life not easy being a mummy. It can be downright depressing.
Fortunately for you my dear mummy friend, Zerorez® can certainly visit your mysterious tomb to rid the smell of 2000 years of death and decay… We're not scared…
We promise we'll be there faster than you can say "petrify" !
Shoot, we'll even Zerorezify® your sarcophagus as long as we can leave alive…
We understand- being cat royalty is really taxing. And the Egyptians buried you with expensive treasures and jewels… but they didn't even leave a litter box behind?
While we're sure your tomb smells absolutely wretched after a good millennia of bodily functions, we'll be there to eliminate the smells.
I mean, where else were you supposed to go to do your business? We understand. We might scream in terror as our noses jump off our faces when we arrive. But don't ever think that means we don't understand little spooky mummy kitty…
The Threat Of The Werewolf
This may seem obvious- but don't go outside during a full moon. Due to the constant threat of werewolves during a full moon, it is probably best you avoid the whole conundrum all together.
Ways to Ward Off Werewolves
Perhaps you find that you ran out of milk, and you can't wait to get a new one until sunrise. Therefore, you are taking your chances with the wolves… for milk….
Lucky for us mere mortals, Mother Nature has provided us with some very valuable tools to ward off werewolves on this terrifying night. Silver is proven to be the best of all wolf repellants!
You better put on Grandma Shirley's precious Silver necklace and pray the wolves stay at bay.
Perhaps you hold a hand with LadyLuck, and happen to have a bush of Wolfsbane in your backyard? You will certainly want to take a good handful with you. You could even try mixing Wolfsbane with Holy Water in a squirt bottle, and just quirt the menacing suckers right in the face!
All this for your beloved milk jug… oh my ghouls….
If you don't have any Silver, Wolfsbane, or Holy Water? Well, tough luck.
If you happen to find yourself outside on this full moon for some unknown reason- first, we will say- told you so.
Secondly, if you happen to survive a werewolf attack, and get bit or scratched by a werewolf.. there may still be hope for you. Occasionally, cleaning your bites or scratched with our Zr Water® can stop the transformation process.
If you're too late, and it doesn't work, give Zerorez® a call once a year to clean all the fur out of your upholstery…